you think that was it?

when one thing happens..i always tell myself...it's okay..it's okay..just heck..and move on..lol.shit man.i've had enough of this shit..

so many things in this world i dont like..i try my best to like them...but sometimes i really just..cannot stand it already..kan4 bu4 xia4 qu4..stop guessing la..mark you also dont try guessing.you'll get it all wrong....but im ready...lets walk away together.and..i dont knw how drunk you are now.but i know you're going to be damned drunk tmr..we go drink vodka with wilson tmr..he sponsor..steady..50% lehh.you get ready dont need go home.we just remember to turn off our phones before we drink can alr..or else always later high le anyhow send messages.zz

today i found out 2 things about birthdays.. 1. stella got the same birthday as mark..lol.freaking coincidence..nvm..still got.. 2. denghui got the same birthday as me.WTH!? we were like on the train to woodlands..then we talking about ns mah.then he was like..ehh im december baby leh..then i was like i also..you december what.he was like.15.then i omg alr..nice one! hahaha.

i've been thinking..thinking so hard..until i dont wanna think anymore...i look at the whole situation..from my perspective..from another perspective..from bird's eye view..and...though i've always hoped that one day i can put across the point that im really sorry for everything..but i think..no matter what i say..no matter what i do..it doesnt matter anymore...im so demoralised..

i started out full with hope..full with confidence that i'll make things right...seems like..once i committed an error..nothing can be right again.

我要说的，你都听过了。。还听过好几遍。。我再说下去也没意思。。

you think that was angry? lol.you havent seen me angry or agitated or whatever shit yet...i think the only time i showed it all out..was sec 2..when we just joined bball..then..dx was always bullying me ji and jas at that time...then one day he asked us to shou1 qiu2..and i was really so damned pissed off that i just shouted at him and shouted and shouted and shouted..right at the courts.i remember that very clearly...pls..i think mark maybe you saw it..that time i was really pissed..other times im just restless and annoyed..pissed ah? today was far from it..9999 miles away..

i was asked this: what are you pissed off with? truth be told..i dont know.i just look at the world around me and feel pissed off cos im a loser...a loser who did something wrong and can nvr make ammendments..im just pissed off lo..nothing more...

im promoted..so? so what? ha..right now..at this point in time..at this point.i dont see whats so good about being promoted..i asked my mum if i could drop out to do music <--yahh.sure...im a music noob..jc life stressful? no..jc curriculum is not stressful at all..really..really..not sarcastic..actually its rather easy..if you actually want to study..it's very easy.but going to school is tiring.notice.i said going to SCHOOL.

can i transfer? pls....pls..let me transfer back to hc..with 28 rank pts.YEAH RIGHT! seriously man..if i even got a chance to transfer to hc right..i'll just go without thinking..i wont even give a shit whether they assign me a class..i dont care.when im all alone here..then i think about you guys back there..and i feel damn sian damn sian damn sian damn sian..sian until cannt sian anymore that kind..we were so happy la..back then.

im so sick of hidden agendas that i feel like just puking.. the sickness i get makes me wanna puke more than when you gorge yourself with 1 litre of pure unmixed vodka...

it seriously disgusts me so much..eww

ciao

Dedicated to the number 14