zz

so i didnt get to meet the guys anyway..gah

monday wednesday friday.they're playing on all these days..i'll make it there on friday to watch you guys..hahaha.yeahh..i want to.

feel super sian la..past few days keep passing by paya lebar.then see SBC..remember all the matches and stuff we played..remembered many things that happened there la...clementi, sbc, ccab..all these places mean alot to me..really.A div playing at sbc..shall go and watch on friday..lets go jiayou k.daniel and hs.

meanwhile..im abit worried about auditions..quite worried la actually..

aji on wed..monday..which means tmr..gonna be a fagging long day..zz

hopefully..just hopefully..thurs and fri is e learning..hahaha.but i dont give a shit.e learning or not.im going to watch hc play on friday..

hmm..i guess everybody has their own opinions..alot of ppl feel that...its up to you to make yourself happy. i dont think so..the thing is right, when you make yourself happy, most of the time you are ignoring the "bad" maybe sad things that are happening.you just shove them up some hole, and pretend that nothing happened.wth?

its still there you know.you're just not looking at it.and happily you think to yourself.yay! im not affected by all these shit(s)..i can make myself happy if i want to.gahh.no way lah.

if something happened, it happened okay..no such thing as "i just dont care about it lo"..yeah.of course its right to not let it affect you till you're so down and all...but, i just feel that its not right to just forget about the whole matter and just smile it off and pretend you're happy.

btw.im not aiming..i just heard the phrase about the happiness thing a few days ago.and i felt that it was really.......wrong.want an example? lol.sure thing..i'll give an example.an example where the happiness doesnt only concern yourself..

your friend argues with you over sth.you two fall out.you tell yourself, its not worth it to get myself worked up over this shit.and i shouldnt feel sad that we argued.i shouldnt feel sad that we're not talking anymore...you continue with your life pretending you're okay with it cos its not worth it to feel sad over things like that....wth? this is really.classical case of shoving it up some hole la.matter not resolved.both of you walk away feeling real "happy" about it..because you both think you shouldnt get worked up over things like this.

end of the day..you both just lose a friend.end of story.oh..and you feel miserable about it after awhile luh.of course...and then you tell yourself.i shouldnt feel sad about it.i mean.its over right?? and you smile =) *claps loudly* WHAT A WONDERFUL SOLUTION!!

shit man..this is not how things work.got problem.you solve and be happy..dont try to make yourself happy by not solving the situation at all.just keep thinking.i should think happy.dont let it affect me..

of course la.the example i gave.abit extreme.most of the time ppl will try to patch up first before giving up..YES it is up to you to make yourself happy..but to make yourself happy.you have to do stuff.you dont sit there thinking to yourself that its okay.its fine.i'll live with it.i'll find something new....really..you'll regret it at the end of the day.

sian..ji long post...anyway.really.no aiming.im not aiming ppl..just felt that i had to let it out..cos i just felt that..thoughts like those are too...shrugs.i cant find a word now.i just wanna sleep.im sick..shit man.

其实，这几天我也何尝不是常常回想着当日我们一起上场，一起欢喜，一起悲伤的那些日子。。我实在实在太想念了。。记得中二那年，我们享受了我们第一场胜仗。。那是多么痛快的一件事。从一群不会打球的小男生，教练把我们变成了比较大方可靠的男人。第一次赢球技的实几时吗？是对ws 的友谊赛。。我记得。非常清楚。。。当哨子响起的那刹那，达贤不知有多高兴。。我们也是在当时成为了朋友。。赢球，把我们两个从前似乎是冤家的人，变成了队友，变成是朋友。。。。几不感人一下喔！哈哈哈哈哈！

我真的好想念一切。。想念华中。想念球场。想念你们。。想念教练。。想念打球。想念跟你们一起拼命，想念跟你们一起英，一起输。。。太想念了。想念那种。七点多才慢慢地走出校门那种感觉。。。。想念假期一起练球，一起吵架，一起游泳，一起吃饭，看电影，去毅初家，喝酒。。哈哈哈哈哈哈。太想念了！

那时我人生中最美好的时光。真的。。谢谢你们。

ciao

Dedicated to the number 14