will i?

the new year has come..for quite some time

things i've achieved
1. i've not drank alcohol for 1234.5 days! i intend to go up to 1 month first..you know what they say..quitting all at once is hard..its like..if i quit all at once, i may just succumb to temptation and drink again..

2. i've bought toto from 711 yishun =) lol.its just for fun la..since so many ppl have won buying toto from there..yepp

kk..anyway...you know..life has to change lah.basically.i cant always be slacking there, drinking alcohol to make myself fall asleep..lol.in fact right, after i stopped...i sleep kinda early nowadays..thanks to the class chalet, help me reset my bio clock..

but who knows right? maybe its cos im slowly letting go of a burden in my heart.

i've adopted a new attitude in life which i should have adopted since long ago...haha.even though ppl may say you're cold, well..whatever right?

and im going to make it a point not to know anymore females till i get over myself....stupid beings like me..hahah.cant understand complex species..

1. just work my ass off everyday to earn money
2. bet occasionally for 4D and TOTO
3. play bball with the team regularly =) =) =) most important one
4. train up physically to deal with NS
5. continue working on music

these are the 5 things im going to concentrate on till NS..and after NS..we'll deal with that later la.right now, i feel that these are the things that will make my life a fufilling one..

i deserve to be despised when i dont get into uni man..i really deserve it hahah.what a slacker la.i mean, looking at myself compared to my brothers..i feel like a total loser....what a loser la.cant even make it to uni.never even had a rank point of more than 40 in my entire life..totally deserve to be despised.

but guess what..i deserve to be despised by others.but i wont despise myself for failing A levels..cos i dont give a damn anyway..

for sth you dont put effort in, you dont give a shit if you fail..
its just like if ppl told me i suck in playing baseball..would i care? no i wouldnt..cos i dont play that sport and i dont intend to excel in it.
if ppl told me i suck in H2 math, would i care? no i wouldnt..cos i dont care..

but for some ppl, it would matter..

i hope ppl will understand..not everyone wants to do well in H2 math..not everyone wants to play baseball well..hahah.

人各有志

dont force your ideals on others...or judge them just cos you can do better than them in H2 math, or physics for that matter..maybe they just dont care.

of course la..if you really want to make this a GP essay, i'd have to say..

"of course, many will argue that this is nothing but the "sour grape" mentality of individuals who are unable to perform in what is deemed as socially desirable activities (studying real hard, getting real good results academically)"

but guess what...i dont really want alot of money, i dont really wanna make a contribution to society to leave my name behind..i dont need a wife currently..i dont really want a family..

MOST IMPORTANTLY, i dont wanna be a boss..

maybe i really cant perform well academically because im slow in learning, less intelligent and smart as compared to others..i realise many nowadays like to use the term "smart" on ppl who perform well academically..well..maybe smart ppl do well in studies la k..im just not smart, intelligent.or whatever that is..

but right..ms yeo was right when she talked about me in sec 2..
"you just cant be bothered to do your work or excel..no no, you just cant be bothered to do anything."

well..i dont give a shit..hahahah

byebye

Dedicated to the number 14