new.

i realised.life is all about chance..chance and chance again..

i got this from mahjong...you can have such a nice hand..but you just cant win..and someone can just game it with a 1 fold..thats kinda shitty isnt it? but its just like that..you just cant win..

you can end up as the biggest loser simply by being unlucky..when its your turn to game a 5 fold, others may feed..and you end up paying money instead of winning..but..that guy can win it back again from others....end up..you can go through all the rounds never feeding anyone even once, but you still lose, cos you never won..and its just your shitass luck..

its so convenient to leave things up to fate..but most of the time...yeah..you get it.

sometimes when a tile comes late, it becomes useless no matter how nice it was awhile ago..yahh..this is exactly whats happening in my life now..i didnt feed anything..but others gamed..he game she game he game she game..i nvr feed..but i lose the most..

even my luck is so..when i should have had some luck..i didnt..when i shouldnt have had luck..i had too much of it to spare..

seriously.i wish i had some luck in life..in everything.career.love..and everything about life.i wish i had luck in life rather than just in gambling..and i dont even have luck in gambling ALL the time..this is bad...dont tell me work hard enough alr..cos.working hard is never enough..you just need luck..seriously..time.place.people..everything must fit in for you to game..anything just miss by abit.you just lose and lose and lose everything..

just that 1 tile...but you just cant game..hahaha.you just cant game.

working hard is never enough man..sometimes all you need is abit of coincidence and luck..all you need is that..all the hard work in the world is not gonna get you your qing yi se, or shi san yao..you just need luck..the tiles just need to be there at the right time..

same thing in life..hard work is not gonna get you a spot in any course in the uni..sometimes you really do need some luck..of course.mainly hard work la..but still.what you expect to do if you have no luck at all?

this is by no means a vessel for me to vent my frustrations after a bad day in mahjong..its simply..like...me.realising something important..about chance.about luck..about life.

i can be waiting to game a 5 fold every single round man..but its just that 1 tile..thats gonna make me wait forever..every round, THAT tile changes..and it'll just never come to me..hahaha.it'll just never come to me when it's THE tile..yeahh..so.

all in all.im a failure in life..

good luck to everyone who thinks their A lvls are screwed..let me tell you this..if you're even nervous or excited or mildly looking forward to knowing your A lvl results..deep in your heart you dont even think you're screwed..you're just thinking you MAY be screwed.but you're really hoping that you'll end up with a decent grade....whos the real guy who alr knows the A lvl results..

its me..no matter what results i get..i've alr failed..i didnt put in my best shot.i didnt put in anything close to a best shot..in fact.im not sure i even put in anything that was of use at all

all those last minute studying and shit..was it even useful? truth be told..from 2nd week of self study onwards..i never understood a single shit i was reading...shit me? hahaha.shit me..

let me put this in mahjong terms..its like me bluffing all you ppl that i got a qing yi se coming right up..and im waiting....but the truth is..i probably have 4 cards of each colour that have no use at all...if you guys thought i was ready, that i mugged in the last minute, that maybe i can pull off a miracle.you're wrong..its not time for miracles..

its time for you ppl to see how serious i am when i say that i didnt put in effort..

im a loser.a failure..and everything bad..

just ignore me.diss me..and all that shit.

im not worth anything man..

Dedicated to the number 14